Friday, July 24, 2009

one hundred thirty three dollars and fifty two cents.

How to spend one hundred dollars in less than one hour.


1. Fill your gas tank while you still are at half-full. - 26.54

2. Take your six year old son to the local fair.

3. Take one look at the local fair and the fair-goers and get back in car. Drive to nearest drug store and purchase hand sanitizer - 6.98

4. Return to fair and purchase 25 tickets - 25.00

5. Ignore that you just purchased said tickets and, instead opt to throw a super ball into a bucket repeatedly until you win a 7" tall stuffed Spiderman. - 5.00 x 8 = 40.00

6. Run - full speed - toward the elephant ears. Indulge - 6.00

7. Run - full speed - to the "Spider". Ride it. Twice.

8. Climb up the moonwalk slide. Roll down on your side.

9. Ride the "Spider" again.

10. Vomit said elephant ear into nearest trash can.

11. Purchase another elephant ear - 6.00

12. Decide to stop riding rides despite still having 15 tickets.

13. Throw darts at 4" diameter balloons until you win an inflatable hammer. WITH A SQUEAKER. - 3.00 x 6 = 18.00

14. Ear of Corn - 2.50

15. Drop ear of corn. Purchase another - 2.50

16. Drag feet to car, whilst screaming inconsolably. Drive home with pockets full of tickets, a 7" vomit-covered stuffed Spiderman, and an inflatable hammer WITH A SQUEAKER.

Total of endeavor: 133.52
Lesson learned: priceless


"It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy." - George Horace Lorimer

1 comment:

  1. ha, I have to say beautiful, I thought you were over exaggerating when you said it was that, but after walking through there, you were completely right. It was really pathetic.... and gross... sorry for the experience tonight.

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