Mindless Drivel

Today

was one of those days that wears you down relentlessly.

It was one of those days where I decide I should take up some sort of bad habit.

...in excess...

But am too damn tired to determine which habit and so I just sit on the edge of the bed and stare.

...blankly...

I'm pretty sure it's o.k. for me to feel like this from time to time. I think everyone gets this way. We all just handle it different. I think that regardless of my circumstances - if I had a husband I came home to, if I had all the money I ever needed, if I had the worlds most balanced chi - I would still have these days.

I couldn't say what exactly pushed my day to this point, as there was no specific incident. I think it is a combination of factors, the most obvious being work and my conscience.

Dylan and I haven't spent much time out and about. This is because I have been working an obscene amount and don't have the time/money/resources to come up with anything in our feeble hours of free time.

School will be starting again soon and my precious son will be in the second grade. I remember second grade and am entering into this with him with the full realization that he will come home one day aware of several new things. One of which will be the nurse's office and all it has to offer, as I can recall spending a majority of my days in the second grade in that very location. Another of which will most likely be a few new curse words. I can handle that. (I mean, have you read how I think?) Who the hell knows what else he'll acquire? I just hope it's something that can be either a) killed with anti-bacterial soap or b) explained in great detail without having to say "I'll tell you when you're older."

Here is something a little off subject that I want to say...

If you are a heterosexual man and you are attracted to women, I understand there is a wide range of emotions and a variety of ways of dealing with whatever life throws your way.

One of which is to look at a problem and want to fix it. I understand men want to be fixers, and, for the most part this is great for things like a clogged drain or dead car battery. . . it is not great if your partner needs you to help her by listening...

Sometimes, men, you should stop yourself and let it go. You should tell yourself that you need to listen and also to shut up. This is doubly important when someone is anxious and needs to get it out. I have only met a few men who are great listeners, and those were professionals I was paying to listen.

So. Listen.

That was not so much for myself as it was for a dear girlfriend of mine's husband, both of which are GIAPH readers. When she called to talk, it hit home with me because I can remember feeling precisely that at times when I was dating...so...there it is.

Dylan has these two plastic light saber knock offs that we got in the city one weekend. One glows red and the other glows green and I have tried - unsuccessfully- about 18 times to get rid of them. The reason is that he whacks the shit out of the back of my legs every single time he plays with them. Sometimes I hide them under the couch or in drawers or in the trunk of the car. I won't see them for a few days, and then they suddenly appear. It is starting to baffle me, but I refuse to comment because then he'll be aware of my grand scheme to spare my calves from any more bludgeonings.

I found the mother-of-all-hiding-places about two days ago, and put them in the top of my closet behind some boxes. Sure as shit, this morning he walks into the kitchen with them shoved down the sides of his shorts (like a holster kind of. that's how he wears them) just minding his own business. I almost dropped my coffee.

...yeah...still haven't figured that one out yet.