Well, I guess I'm not fully a stay at home mom. I got a part-time job at a craft store. I will be making barely enough to pay my car payment. Not a great feeling, but life could be so much worse. Knowing I have only been unemployed 2 solid weeks, I don't feel at liberty to complain, however my days have grown fairly monotonous.
"Gypsy...what are you doing? Get off the table!"
"Gypsy. OFF."
"GYPSY!"
"...Gypsy?"She's really a good dog. No. really. She just doesn't get out as much as she would like. That, and she just does whateverthehell she wants. I respect that, because lord knows I have never been one to enjoy restraint. I find her...relatable.
Anyway, the days at home fly by quickly. I have been keeping busy and I have really missed time to hear the thoughts in my head. That sounds ridiculous, but I hush myself the moment everyone comes home. Dylan walks in the door and he gets every bit of me. Two hours later, Derek! comes home and I become consumed with being where everyone wants me. If I am not, they come looking for me. Knocking/Scratching on doors, calling for me, asking what I'm doing...
It's unbelievable that I have gone from hiding in the bathroom for two hours bubble bathing, shaving, polishing, plucking, and brushing to cleaning my own pee off the seat because someone in the house needs me and I can't pee fast enough.
Is this the way most stay at home moms feel? I wouldn't know, I have hid from them for years. Dylan informs me that he has 18 more days of school. After this, he'll be on summer vacation and for the first time since he's been in school, I am looking forward to it.
I didn't mention it in my last blog because I don't want to sounds like a braggart, but Derek and I got engaged April 17. He proposed at Buckingham Fountain in Chicago. Buckingham Fountain is dear to my heart for a lot of reasons. I will spare you all the stories and feelings that come flooding in when I think of that place, and now I have one more, but it was magical. For the first time since I actually was five, I felt five.
When I was five, I had an extremely difficult time playing games like hide and seek because I couldn't hold my pee. I would hide somewhere roomy enough for me to squirm because I knew I couldn't stay hidden for long. I would get excited and get the sudden urge to pee. That's exactly how I felt when I realized what was happening at Buckingham Fountain. When I understood what Derek! was doing when he was kneeling down, my immediate thought was "omigod! i have to pee!" Isn't that ridiculous and wonderful at the same time?
I can't wait to feel that way the rest of my life.
Mother's Day was wonderful. I got these beautiful inkblot looking orchids from Derek! and Dylan.
Don't they look like a shrink's inkblots? They do. That proves it, Derek! thinks I'm crazy. subliminally. Which is ok. Because he is stuck with my crazy ass.
They really are beautiful. I also got a homemade card from Dylan. It's his best work yet. I can't believe how lucky I am to be his mother. What on earth was I doing before him? Whatever it was doesn't mean anything now.
"You make me so happy. I love you so mutch. Thank you for clothes, books, everything. That time you took me to the city. Happy mothers day!"...And if that doesn't make your day job feel worthless, I don't know what will.
"I thought my mom's whole purpose was to be my mom. That's how she made me feel."-Natasha Gregson Wagner
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