dylan carter-
I'm sorry my car broke down yesterday in the middle of everything. I'm sorry I had to make you walk through a big parking lot and across a busy street. I'm sorry I yelled at you while you were asking questions. I'm sorry I sent you with your Papa while I tried to sort things out. I'm sorry I didn't explain things better.
I'm sorry I barely hold things together sometimes. I'm sorry that in the moments they seem to be falling apart, you are the one all the rubble lands on. I'm sorry I forget sometimes to slow down and explain things to you and you worry. I'm sorry I don't talk everything through with you.
I'm sorry to you today because I know I could have handled the situation better and I pray it didn't affect you negatively. I'm sorry because sometimes I'm not sure which direction is up, and when I am topsy-turvy, you are too. I'm sorry I work so much, complain so much, and shut the door sometimes.
I will try harder to keep our lives more open, with a better flow. I will try harder to make sure you know how entirely you have changed my heart and that you are the most important person in my world. I can do better, I can be a better mum, and I will.
I will try harder to consider your feelings before reacting to events, even when they are unexpected. I love you, son.
And I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you went to sleep last night.
love,
momma
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ya know, the fact that you are posting this says everything. you don't have to try to "be a better mum" cause in the effort to make a better life for the both of you things are gonna knock you off track. The key is to never lose site of what you are working towards. I'm sure Dylan understands and appreciates everything you do SuperMum. = )
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